Hive, Sweet Hive (D1 - EA)

[Cyprian Kircheis]

He drinks in her words. And as she speaks his face softens, his discomfort is not only alleviated but possibly... transmuted? A sort of peace washes over him before his thoughts shift once again. Whatever it is he seems to wrestle with it. His expression turns to one of bemusement, timorousness, embarrassment? Then she mentioned the Dustmen again.

He stumbles on his words, "I- that... would require that I know more about them."

[Akh Uur Hoon]

"I have a book on their doctrines that is for your perusal." She gestured with her chin toward the shelf. "But the most important thing for me is that they seek True Death just like I do, and they understand the complexities of getting to it. I am in a very precarious position and if I make more mistakes, I may end up in the accursed state of utter diminishment and conscious helplessness..."

She thinned her lips.

"Strahd shattered my soul, Cyprian. I am now much less than I used to be, fragments of me scattered across the planes. They must have taken an existence of their own as all kinds of beings, perhaps also dhampirs like you. If I slide without getting them back, the relief of True Death will remain denied to me. I am doomed to seek them even though the chance of getting them all back borders impossibility. If there's anyone or anything to help me in the search, I am ready to earn that aid."

[Cyprian Kircheis]

"I wish I understood." He felt small, like he had to look up at her even though he's much taller. "And I wish to help you. I mean that honestly. I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to help you find pieces of yourself. I don't know how to fix you, or how to help you feel whole again. I don't know what mistakes you've made, or how to help prevent you from making more, but I will learn if needs be."

He takes her hands in his again.

"I say this because I don't think I'm going anywhere anytime soon." He thinks of Gizby, and this news about Mysti. Nothing makes sense anymore. Home has come to Sigil and there's no good indication of why that is. "It may be that I..." No, he thought, he doesn't feel dead. But then... "What does death feel like?"

[Akh Uur Hoon]

She didn't resist.

"I really only made one profund mistake, I let myself be brought to Barovia by a man I was smitten with who nevertheless betrayed me. My expectations toward life were naive to boot at that time. And that life ended before it truly began."

She looked at him with kind gratitude for his spontaneous commitment that nevertheless was telling a story of what part of her was missing that prevented her from being fully reciprocal.

"In my case, the transition was rather shocking, but in most cases it doesn't feel profound. It can even be missed. Many spirits disbelieve their own death. You just discover that things are different with you, you are lessened in some ways and enhanced in others. I don't miss breathing or sleeping even though I knew what it was like. It is mostly difficult for those who are envious of what they can no longer have."

[Cyprian Kircheis]

This time her words brought no comfort, only dread. It was like the world fell out from under him. A pit formed in his stomach. He stopped himself from panicking and asked, "Is there a way to know for certain? How do you.. how do you find out? How did you find out exactly? Is it-"

He stopped himself.

"You don't have to tell me that if you don't wish to remember it." He steadied himself. "You could tease out my death if it was hidden within my subconscious though right?" He looks bitterly into your eyes, "Gods I can't believe I'm asking that."

[Akh Uur Hoon]

She stroked his cheek in as much reassurance as she could offer without lying. She was glad that speaking of her own pain was no longer as overwhelming as it could be. Here, it seemed to serve a purpose, a kindness she had once experienced as well.

"I had a mostly mindless period immediately after Strahd had discarded me, when I was reduced to my basest instincts and maintained my pitiful condition by any means necessary. At that time I disremembered almost everything about myself and would probably remain that ghoulish animal for eternity if not for a stroke of... something, I hesitate to call it luck. I happened to devour someone who carried a lost fraction of my soul, and my sense of identity... and remorseful integrity returned. What I recovered that day has led me to conclude I am well beyond life. But it was only when I reached Sigil and had many conversations with my tutor among the Dustmen, Dhall, did I realise the finer points of where I am in the journey."

She let the bitterness sink into her translucent gaze.

"I can attempt it if this is what you need, Cyprian."

[Cyprian Kircheis]

He looked at her trembling. He didn't even need to think about it, just summon enough courage to say it.

"Y- yes." He inhaled and exhaled then continued slowly. "I need to know. I'd rather proceed knowing the truth. Than chase a lie interminably."

[Akh Uur Hoon]

"Then let me at least make any such discovery more bearable."

She discarded her drab Dustmen robe, pulled up her tunic and mounted his lap, resting her lips on his neck for a long kiss.

/Fade to Flesh Feast

[1 Ki Spent on the Ability; Akh would seek Cyprian's forgotten memories, earliest ones or those just before he died if he did.]

[Cyprian Kircheis]

He honestly hadn't expected this. But it was more than welcome. He pulled her in tight and savored the feeling of both her teeth, and her energy. But this time he made a conscious effort to not bite back.

/Fade out then in again

'Who needs a bedroll anyway?' He thought still holding her. His cloak had acted as the perfect catch and would surely need professional cleaning now.

He was spent emotionally and physically. But for some reason that didn't matter all that much to him. He felt alive again. What's more he knew his own origin story. All of that trauma, all of that pain. It's resolved now. There's really only one thing left to deal with. But those murky waters will require footwork to navigate.

He thinks on the road ahead as he absently traces his chin up the small of her neck towards her clavicle. Turning his cheek he closes his eyes and breathes. "Thank you."

[Akh Uur Hoon]

She took his head in both hands, kissed his forehead, and leaned away to slip to the side.

"Are you going to do anything with the knowledge, Cyprian?" She noticed the breath, a superfluous atavism, which told her what kind of feelings accompanied the revelation.